Funny Computer Quotes

Posted by Mike Ramm on July 8, 2009

IBM/360

Funny quotes about computers and programmers. Enjoy!

“How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?”
None: “We’ll fix it in software.”

“How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb?”
None: “We’ll document it in the manual.”

“How many Microsoft engineers does it take to change a light bulb?”
None: “Let’s define darkness as the industry standard.”

“How many tech writers does it take to change a light bulb?”
None: “The user can work it out.”

Anonymous

Line Printer paper is strongest at the perforations.

Murphy’s Law of Line Printers

The goal of Computer Science is to build something that will last at least until we’ve finished building it.

Anonymous

Every program is a part of some other program, and rarely fits.

The Complete Microsoft Internal Jokes, Vol.III

When the program refuses to work as intended, change the specification to fit the program. It’s easier than vice versa.

Briefing for new programmers joining Microsoft, 1995

Information Center, n.: A room staffed by professional computer people whose job it is to tell you why you cannot have the information you require.

The Devil’s Dictionary to Computer Studies

If the code and the comments disagree, then both are probably wrong.

Norm Schryer

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