Funny Computer Quotes
Funny quotes about computers and programmers. Enjoy!
“How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?”
None: “We’ll fix it in software.”“How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb?”
None: “We’ll document it in the manual.”“How many Microsoft engineers does it take to change a light bulb?”
None: “Let’s define darkness as the industry standard.”“How many tech writers does it take to change a light bulb?”
None: “The user can work it out.”Anonymous
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Line Printer paper is strongest at the perforations.
Murphy’s Law of Line Printers
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The goal of Computer Science is to build something that will last at least until we’ve finished building it.
Anonymous
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Every program is a part of some other program, and rarely fits.
The Complete Microsoft Internal Jokes, Vol.III
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When the program refuses to work as intended, change the specification to fit the program. It’s easier than vice versa.
Briefing for new programmers joining Microsoft, 1995
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Information Center, n.: A room staffed by professional computer people whose job it is to tell you why you cannot have the information you require.
The Devil’s Dictionary to Computer Studies
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If the code and the comments disagree, then both are probably wrong.
Norm Schryer
The Two Types of Programmers
Jeff Atwood at Coding Horror wrote a post called The Two Types of Programmers, which gained a lot of controversial comments. Then he wrote another post trying to explain what he meant in the first one and to bring up the peace but the war has already started. I read them both. I read them many times and I still don’t understand what exactly he meant.
He says that there are two types of programmers – Type 0 (20%) are the people who program for fun. These people live programming, they breathe programming. They use Linux and they contribute to Open Source projects. In other words (although he doesn’t say it), these are the good guys, the smart guys. The other group are Type 1 (80%) – people who practice programming for living. They work from 9 to 5, they use only Microsoft technology and they don’t read the technical news. “They are not stupid”, he says but I believe it is just what he means because the final appeal is to the smart guys to swallow their pride and to hope the stupid guys become smarter.
If you feel that you belong to the Type 1 programmers, the stupid ones, don’t worry – one of the most important characteristics of the 20% group is that they read blogs, especially Jeff’s one. So you just need to read one article of his and you’ll automatically become a member of the elite group.
Sorry Jeff, I don’t buy it!
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