Funny Computer Quotes
Funny quotes about computers and programmers. Enjoy!
“How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?”
None: “We’ll fix it in software.”“How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb?”
None: “We’ll document it in the manual.”“How many Microsoft engineers does it take to change a light bulb?”
None: “Let’s define darkness as the industry standard.”“How many tech writers does it take to change a light bulb?”
None: “The user can work it out.”Anonymous
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Line Printer paper is strongest at the perforations.
Murphy’s Law of Line Printers
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The goal of Computer Science is to build something that will last at least until we’ve finished building it.
Anonymous
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Every program is a part of some other program, and rarely fits.
The Complete Microsoft Internal Jokes, Vol.III
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When the program refuses to work as intended, change the specification to fit the program. It’s easier than vice versa.
Briefing for new programmers joining Microsoft, 1995
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Information Center, n.: A room staffed by professional computer people whose job it is to tell you why you cannot have the information you require.
The Devil’s Dictionary to Computer Studies
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If the code and the comments disagree, then both are probably wrong.
Norm Schryer
What Kind Of Programmer Are You?
Long time ago, at the dawn of the computer era there were funny legends about The Real Programmer who writes only in FORTRAN, drinks a lot of coffee and beer and NEVER, I mean NEVER writes comments. Today the things are different and the programming is not that mystery magic it used to be and all bosses respected. Today even the children know how to click on the keys and how to write program code even before they know how to write pothooks in their notebooks.
The same logical process happened to the evaluation of the Real programmer’s qualities. It is based on a scientific ground and there is nothing subjective or accidental anymore. A psychological test have been developed that determines your programmer’s personality. The authors claim that it is based on Myers-Briggs tests and that it is absolutely serious although I found some of the questions very funny.
Walking on Water
I found this great sentence, which belongs to Edward V. Berard and I am eager to share it with you:
Walking on water and developing software from a specification are easy if both are frozen.
Thanks to Irina Marudina for this piece of wisdom.
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Filed Under Fun, Software Development | 2 Comments
Programmer’s Day
I was reminded today about the “unofficial” Programmer’s Day. I don’t think there will be an “official” day ever. And in fact, I don’t think anyone cares. What is more important is just to have more reasons to celebrate! And we love to celebrate! 
The logic about this day is that September 13th is the 256th day of the year and 256 is very important number for the programmer’s brotherhood. It’s a great idea but I’ve also heard about the 128th day of the year and why not celebrate the 42th day? It’s hardly possible to find a programmer who doesn’t believe in the magical nature of the number 42
Long time ago, when I was a first-year student in the University, me and my company defined another date to be the programmer’s day and it was defined with and algorithm! We announced the programmer’s day to be the first Saturday of April when it’s not the first of April (simply because it’s another holiday ). If the first Saturday happens to be on the first of April then the programmer’s day would be on the eighth of April. Why did we choose that time? Well, because then the weather becomes warmer, the spring is coming noticeably and you can go on a picnic in a fresh air. We may be programmers but we are not moles and we value the sun and the air like everyone else.
So, today is a holiday and it should be honored.
I congratulate all the colleagues working in the field of Information Technologies and everyone who feels like a programmer on The Programmer’s Day.
Happy Programmer’s Day! Cheers!
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