computer operator

Funny Quotes about Computers and Programming

computer operator

Funny quotes about computers and programmers. Enjoy!

“How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?”
None: “We’ll fix it in software.”

“How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb?”
None: “We’ll document it in the manual.”

“How many Microsoft engineers does it take to change a light bulb?”
None: “Let’s define darkness as the industry standard.”

“How many tech writers does it take to change a light bulb?”
None: “The user can work it out.”

Anonymous

Line Printer paper is strongest at the perforations.

Murphy’s Law of Line Printers

The goal of Computer Science is to build something that will last at least until we’ve finished building it.

Anonymous

Every program is a part of some other program, and rarely fits.

The Complete Microsoft Internal Jokes, Vol.III

When the program refuses to work as intended, change the specification to fit the program. It’s easier than vice versa.

Briefing for new programmers joining Microsoft, 1995

Information Center, n.: A room staffed by professional computer people whose job it is to tell you why you cannot have the information you require.

The Devil’s Dictionary to Computer Studies

If the code and the comments disagree, then both are probably wrong.

Norm Schryer

Every program has at least one bug and can be shortened by at least one instruction – from which, by induction, one can deduce that every program can be reduced to one instruction which doesn’t work.

Anonymous

God made machine language; all the rest is the work of man.

Anonymous

Real Programmers don’t write in PL/I. PL/I is for programmers who can’t decide whether to write in COBOL or FORTRAN.

Programmers’ World

The C Programming Language: A new language which combines the flexibility of assembly language with the power of assembly language.

Murphy’s Introduction to C

A language that doesn’t affect the way you think about programming is not worth knowing.

Alex Lu, commenting on Java Programming

At the source of every error which is blamed on the computer you will find at least two human errors, including the error of blaming it on the computer.

Anonymous

I expect that any day now someone will invent a round thing which rolls along the ground and minimizes friction, only it will need a 233-megahertz Pentium processor to do it.

Garry Harant, Blackburn, Victoria, Australia

The world is coming to an end. Please log off.

Posix 2.1.1 System Shutdown Message

 


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